Choosing to heal can be scary.
It can be lonely;
Filled with grief;
It can be hard work.
If you’re trying to heal right now I want you to honour yourself for choosing to show up for yourself in this way.
For choosing to try.
It’s a beautiful thing to choose to heal.
Here’s a few things I have learned on my own healing journey that have been helpful for me and which may also be helpful for you.
There is no “right” way to heal. There is, however, a “right” way for YOU to heal. The truth is healing is messy in the same way being human is messy. We all experience threat, trauma and stressors differently & cope in different ways. It makes sense then we are required to heal in our own way too. Please don’t worry if the way you need to heal looks different to the methods plastered across Social Media or to those closest to you — this is your journey and it is a journey that looks different for everyone. Take your time to feel out the combination of tools that work for you, and after all this, if you choose not to heal right now, know that healing will still be there waiting for you.
Healing can hurt more than the wound. At first you may feel more pain. You may find yourself thinking; “this isn’t working, this feels worse.” You may want to stop the process and retreat to your old ways. You may feel like “now is just not the right time” and “I should wait until I’m more motivated or it’s easier.” But the truth is healing is HARD and it will get easier but only if you keep going through it. The process of waking up, of coming out of a state of numbness or denial about what you’re healing from can be really painful. It’s why your brain and body initially made you numb to it — so you could SURVIVE. When healing from anything, I have found that the pain often gets worse before it gets better AND it won’t last forever. Healing is almost never a smooth and quick process.
There is no such thing as a “fully healed person.” There is always going to be something to learn or work on. Even if we did *all* the work, we’d still be human; life would continue to have its ups and downs and we’d still experience normal human feelings like sadness, fear and inadequacy at times.
Healing is often really about returning to presence. I love this idea because it doesn’t require us to overcome or change everything; it simply requires us to be with what is, over and over again. Building the capacity to be with what is here is a portal to living our healing out loud.
Wherever you are on this journey, I want you to know I see you and I’ve been there. I’m still healing and I’m still stopped in my tracks by the pain of personal development at times. The process of healing is NOT easy, but in my opinion it is worth it.
P.s – What have you learned about healing? I’d be interested to know.
Consider how you can take your healing process one step at a time. Rushing to rebuild won’t make you heal any faster and you deserve your own care and compassion while you heal.