Healing is scary.
It requires you to look at parts of yourself and your life that may have been kept quietly hidden for a lifetime now.
It urges you to be honest with yourself, to practice trusting your inner wisdom, and to show up for yourself differently than you might be used to.
It asks you to be tender; to hold yourself gracefully instead of mercilessly.
This might be unfamiliar and even impossible at times.
I know it has been for me.
Healing invites you to create new pathways in your brain, new patterns in your daily habits, and new ways of being with yourself.
This, at times, can be filled with grief.
Grief for not doing it sooner,
grief for not having someone else do it for you,
grief for all you didn’t receive,
grief for the parts of you that didn’t feel you deserved healing until now.
Because of this, healing needs your bravery, forgiveness, willingness and your desire.
It needs your trust.
It needs your patience.
It needs your ability to choose it over and over again, even when it’s dark.
Even when you feel lost and unsure.
Healing needs you the most during those times.
Healing insists on your worth.
It declares your capacity to live differently.
It honours your innate ability to change.
It recognises your incredible, sweet, untouched goodness that life often buries.
Healing knows it’s still there, though.
Healing knows it’s for you.
And it will keep waiting for you when you loose sight of it.
I want you to honour yourself for choosing to show up in this way.
For choosing to do things differently.
For choosing to try.
For choosing to sift through what hurts in order to find what doesn’t.
For allowing yourself to come back home to your own truth.
For choosing to honour the part of you that knows healing is for you.
It’s a beautiful thing to choose to heal.
As you continue your own journey and keep unfolding the layers of what it means to be fully and wholly you, don’t forget to breathe.
To notice how far you’ve already come.
To celebrate the tiny moments.
To rejoice in the now.
To anchor yourself in all that’s possible.
To connect with those who see you.
To practice seeing yourself.
To avoid comparing your journey to the journey of those around you.
There are few who have courage enough to own their past, or resolution enough to mend it.
I’m proud of you.
With so much love,
A few gentle reminders about healing:
There is no “right” way to heal. There is, however, a “right” way for YOU to heal. The truth is healing is messy in the same way being human is messy. We all experience threat, trauma and stressors differently & cope in different ways. It makes sense then we are required to heal in our own way too. Please don’t worry if the way you need to heal looks different to the methods plastered across social media or to those recommended by those closest to you — this is your journey and it is a journey that looks different for everyone. Take your time to feel out the combination of tools that work for you. Recovery doesn’t operate on a timeline and healing happens on your terms. And after all this, if you choose not to heal right now, to take a break from it, know that healing will still be there waiting for you.
Healing can hurt more than the wound. At first you may feel more pain. You may find yourself thinking; “this isn’t working, this feels worse.” You may want to stop the process and retreat to your old ways (experiencing setbacks on your healing journey is normal and I urge you to plan for them). You may feel like “now is just not the right time.” And “I should wait until I’m more motivated or it’s easier.” But the truth is healing is HARD and it will get easier but ONLY if you go through it and don’t retreat. The process of waking up, of coming out of a state of numbness, of denial about whatever you’re dealing with is really painful. It’s why your brain and body initially made you numb to it — so you could SURVIVE. When healing from anything, the pain often gets worse before it gets better, it’s a normal part of the process and it won’t last forever.
In this way, healing is really about returning to presence. I love this idea because it doesn’t require us to overcome or change everything; it simply requires us to be with what is, over and over again. Building the capacity to be with what is here is a portal to living our healing out loud. After all we are worthy now.
Wherever you are on this journey, I want you to know I see you and I’ve been there. I’m still healing, I’m on this journey with you and I am still stopped in my tracks by the pain of personal development at times. The process of healing is NOT easy, but it is possible and it is worth it.
Consider how you can take your healing process one step at a time. Rushing to rebuild won’t make you heal any faster. You deserve care and compassion while you heal.
P.s. Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls your life.
Words inspired by Lisa Olivera.